It's really unfortunate that I find myself, more often than not, in situations where, simply for the sake of saying something, anything, I end up saying the worst thing that could possibly be said.
The truth is though, that what I say usually just slips out unintentionally when I'm searching for an excuse to talk to someone or to prolong a conversation that I'm already having with them...In those situations I'm generally not myself. I'm stupid and neurotic and I just want to keep talking because I'm happy and enjoying myself...
I've recently demonstrated such idiocy.
I was talking to someone that I really like and admire and was about to leave when suddenly pops into my mind one last excuse for a conversation. In the heat of the moment and out of desperation and sheer stupidity, out of utter imbecility shall I say, I blurted out the most offensive, politically incorrect thing that I could have said.
It was a major, MAJOR! faux pas.
I didn't get the wits to notice how wrong I had been saying that until five minutes after I had left - probably the time it took for me to come back to my senses.
Trust me when I say that the gut-wrenching feeling that took over me when I was first hit by the reality of what I had said was honey compared to the incredulity towards my actions which had paralyzed me throughout that evening.
I still cannot believe I could have been so...I can't even find a word to describe how awful I feel about myself and how shocked at having behaved in a way that's not like me at all...
I always try to be as diplomatic as possible especially considering the fact that I love meeting new and different people and realize that in order to be successful at befriending them I have to be unprejudiced and even-minded. Luckily, I'm usually successful at demonstrating such tact, but it's really painful when a whole day of such good behavior is ruined by one gauche action.
Concerning the title, I admit it's not as refined as I usually hope my titles to be, but I put it anyway simply to remember that I do need to learn how to shut up sooner every time I see it...
In the hopes that this will be my last run in with senselessness...
Until next time :)
No comments:
Post a Comment