Tuesday, November 9, 2010

And the Oscar goes to...


What better way for the soul to escape into a world of infinite possibilities? A world where none of the rational world's rules applies, where no right and wrong orchestrated movement and thought but merely the feelings of the actor themselves.

I've always loved watching movies. Growing up with a father who was absolutely fascinated by them and by the whole industry, I didn't really have a choice. I never really felt like my love for the field was anything out of the ordinary, inside our family frame it never really was.

When I was about 13 or 14 years old, I started noticing my love for a lot of things that I had previously considered as unimportant or not really worth considering for a career. I found out that I was absolutely in love with acting.

I had never really payed attention before to that fact that the one thing I always focused on while watching a movie was the actors' performances. I had never noted that that detail sometimes interested me more than the plot itself.

I decided that I was going to pay my best effort to make it possible for me to become an actress someday. Of course, when you think actress, you think Hollywood, and when you think Hollywood you think English. I was already pretty good at the language, but when it came to "performing" the language, I always thought there was something more I could do.

Thus, from reading Roald Dahl novels while paying attention to altering my voice to suit the various characters, and trying as well as I could to picture how the situation would be, and from standing in front of the mirror, practicing facial expressions for hours at a time, my dream travels on to places far more appealing and fascinating then my bedroom and bathroom.

And as time passed, I have also discovered a love and a skill in writing, hence, my dream of someday standing on a high budget movie set develops into being there not just as an actress but as a writer and director.

Until next time, and may all your dreams come true.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

It's been so long...

It's been so long since I last posted a blog! I looked at the date of my last entry and it dates back to October 16! I have to admit that nothing much has happened with me in the past month but it feels good to be back!

School is as good as it ever was and ever can be. Many things I'm not too proud of have happened in that department...I'm not talking bad grades nor conflicts with unnerving teachers, but rather foolish behavior with younger guys. All has been taken care of now, there's no need to worry :P

I started wondering, as a result to every uncomfortable experience I had recently, whether wonderful, extremely lucky days, were a bad omen to worse ones to come.

Here's what I mean.

Last Thursday was the best day of my life. My history teacher gave me six grades bonus on my exam for a research I did, the exam I had that day went great, my best friend greeted me with amazing news about her and the guy we both believe is "The One", I had the BEST period of P.E. which rarely ever happens and above all the "group date" I had been planning to invite the guy I liked to, seemed a sure matter. I was feeling on top of the world!

Here comes the horror...

Friday is here...It's the first rainy school day, my geography test went horrible, the guy I invited said he couldn't come, it didn't rain all day but the second my friends and I stepped out of the school building and into the street it poured rain! To top that...I had a conversation with that guy after returning home and it made me seem like I was chasing after him!!

What to do? What to do?

My only solution seemed to change my status on facebook to "in a relationship" so that he thinks I actually was...I got 53 comments and everyone at my school thinking that I was in this wonderful romance...

That one went rather well, right?

I was still extremely depressed on Saturday and couldn't sing during my class...

It all got better on Tuesday though! My friend gave me more wonderful news and I was smiling uncontrollably for a whole day, I decided that I was going to buy myself a blackberry for Christmas and that I wouldn't care about childish people ever again!

I've returned to correcting my book too after stopping for a while and I'm almost done now! YAY! I can't wait to start on the second one!

It's really good to be back!

Until next time...

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Singing lesson numero deux...

Today was my second singing lesson (don't worry, I won't be reporting all of them, just the ones where something happens).

Well...I arrived at the music institute about 15 minutes ahead of time and even though that was exactly the time I had arrived last week, I had to wait until it was exactly twelve o'clock to go in. I was a little nervous when I first got there but by the time class started I was just glad it did.

That boy I talked about in my last post was there too this time and I have to tell you...totally over him! I, by nature, am someone who talks a lot, smiles and laughs even more and I can't stand to be in a place, especially a tiny little room with someone and not talk, and if that person isn't talkative (don't know if that's even a word) than forget it, cz I will.

A few seconds after I came in and sat on the chair near the reception desk waiting to be called in, I started thinking of a good conversation topic, but it was merely...cricket, cricket, cricket....no one spoke and I started feeling a little uncomfortable. It was the most awkward 15 minutes of my life.

Anyway, I was called in a few minutes later and the class went on great....

Until next time :)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

My first singing lesson

Today was my first singing lesson!

I reached the music institute at ten minutes to twelve. The head of the institute was there and so was my future teacher ( which I was meeting then for the first time but whose pics I had already seen on facebook). There was also this gorgeous guy there...blue eyes, brown hair and a dazzling smile.

Anyway...I went into the classroom with the teacher (who's only 16 years old and a year older than me). We didn't do much singing, he taught me a few breathing techniques and gave me some homework for our next session.

Now back to the important subject....the cutest subject I've ever seen in my life! He's seriously GORGEOUS!

I was waiting for my aunt to come pick me up and was sitting out in the waiting room. After a few seconds (:P) of silence, we started talking and I found out that he was 19 years old and that he was learning the guitar. (gosh he was so cute!) Anyway! I told him my name and he told me his....the thing is....I completely forgot!

I know, I know what an idiot!

I guess I'll just have to wait for next week to talk to him...

Love you all..

Till next time :P

Sunday, October 3, 2010

A beautiful future

Yesterday, I went to register for my first singing lesson ever.

My appointment was at 4p.m. but I left the house at 3 and went to my cousin Lina's house first. Of course, I asked he if she would like to come along. She agreed.

After spending about half an hour on the internet, we finally left the house. We arrived at the music institute about ten minutes later, we had walked the whole way over there. Lina wasn't a stranger to that institute, she had inquired about guitar lessons there about a year ago, but circumstances took her elsewhere.

That wasn't the first time I had spoken to the manager. I had met him a week ago when I had first dropped by to ask about the prices and schedules and then we had spoken again on the phone the morning of my registration.

While we were there, my cousin had to step out of the room to take a call, and while she was away, the manager looked at me and said "mousta2balik 7elo ya Marianne" which translates to "you have a beautiful future ahead of you Marianne". I giggled and thanked him but then asked why he was saying that. His answer was the one thing that had always reassured me that I could do whatever I wanted to do in life no matter how unrealistic that seemed to others.

He had said that it was because I had charisma and a strong personality.

You see, growing up, I was always shy and until I was 10 years old I used to cry every time anyone talked to me. Then, I hit a certain age when I had an epiphany about everything. In that same year, I found out how much I loved music and how talented I was at writing songs, I also found out I loved acting but that's a whole different story. I discovered too that, if I gave it a chance, I was really good at talking to people, especially those older than me, and I had a particularly developed skill at convincing people of my point of view.

I hate to blow my own trumpet, but I had to agree with the manager, that was something that I had always counted on and that I was never going to give up. Something that I had always had the feeling was going to take me places.

So thank you God for my ability to speak.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Why dream?

Well...We dream simply to escape reality. We dream as a way of convincing ourselves that there's something better out there, that we could, someday, obtain all that we wish to have.

I dream a lot and very often. I dream all the time and my day dreams are more frequent than those I see in my sleep. I dream because I live in a lace that could be compared to the desert of the field in which I dream of working. I love singing and acting and performing and I get this undescribeable joy out of thinking that some day I might be able to make my dreams come true.

As I said before, I live in a place where no real talent is appreciated and that place also happens to be the farthest place there is from the world where you can make your dreams come true. For an aspiring actress/singer, I'm talking about Hollywood of course.

Ever since discovering that I had a nice voice and that I could fairly well act, I found the thing that I always felt was missing without ever being able to say what it was. I found something, a field where I knew I would be able to use all my creativity in. I can write you five songs in one sitting if I'm inspired and i have just finished writing a book that only took me too months work.

And to have everybody around me try to take all that away from me...I can't even describe how that feels.
I cannot imagine that there still are parents in these modern times that won't trust their children and support them as they try to make their dreams come true.

I know all the downsides, I know all the dirty business that needs to be done. I have heard that same speech about how infected the field is and the fact that after three years of hearing the same bumming speech I still haven't changed my mind means that I really want to do this.

Dear bloggers, hear my words. Nobody has the right to steal your dreams, nobody has the right to tell you that there is no point in you dreaming because there is no way you're going to make those "unrealistic" dreams come true. The simple reason is that there is no such thing as an unrealistic dream, the only dream that didn't come true is the dream that wasn't sought long enough, the one that wasn't worked on enough.

Don't listen to anybody that says that there are probably a million different people around the world that have the same dream, people who were born in places and countries where it's much easier to make that dream come true. I say that there is no such thing as someone worthier of making their dreams come true.

Even if you fail, even f you waist years of your life trying to make that small sparkle become a shiny light, you should never label yourself a looser before you start the game.

I, personally, will never listen to someone that tells me that my dreams are ridiculous and  not worth chasing.


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Here comes the wedding reception...

It seems like all the people I know suddenly decided to get married.

I'm not saying that I don't like seeing wedding plans being made. I absolutely LOVE it! I love seeing the brides trying on different dresses and picking the flowers and locations. I love all the anticipation of how that night is going to turn out. I love to see people happy and trying to figure out how much exactly their lives are going to change once they become husband and wife.

My cousin is getting married, and so is my 29 year old teacher who is like a sister to me. Believe it or not, I'm closer to the second one, I just love this girl. My cousin is much older than me, he's over thirty now, and I'm so happy that he has finally found the woman with whom he wants to spend the rest of his life. I'm also ecstatic for my friend.

I have to say though, considering that most of my cousins on my father's side are guys, the most exciting part about one of them getting married is meeting the girls. I always get on very well with the brides-to-be. My oldest cousin's wife Pamela is amazing, I absolutely love her and her style, especially her style. My cousin who's getting married now has just introduced us to his fiancée and we got along very well.

I always like meeting the girls best.

To all the people out there who are going to get married anytime soon, and to all the newly weds, I'm so happy for you guys and I hope that you have all found the one.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Typing the last couple of chapters

What would anyone expect a fifteen year old spend the summer doing?

On my own list of what my friends must have spent the summer doing, I had: going to the mall, going to the beach, hanging out with your friends, going to the movies...These are few of the things that I didn't do this summer.

You see, to the shock of the few school friends that I told this to, I have spent my summer writing a book, well actually, the first book out of a series of four books. It's your same old love story but with a twist.

Some people might think that if my first achievement was writing a book at the age of fifteen, then greater things certainly lie ahead, I agree. I'm someone who thinks big, hopes even bigger, I want every single picture that my imagination draws me to materialize in real life. I want to build palaces, travel the world, meet the most exotic people and places.

I have spent two months now, waking up at eight o'clock in the morning every single day and starting to work on my computer from nine to one o'clock in the afternoon (that's when my lunch brake is), then pick up where I had left off, and keep working until a 12 page chapter was done. I personally call it an achievement to write 12 pages, 5000 words every day in English (which is my third language after Arabic and French) and to have materiel to write day after day, to end up with 24 chapters at the end.

Before I started typing my book on the computer, I had already written about ten chapters, by hand, on my notebook. I kept those aside and typed the rest of the book directly.

When I was done, I went back to type those chapters that I had left and at first it was a relief that I was coming close to wrapping this project. Now that I'm down to the last couple of chapters, it doesn't feel the same anymore. I feel like I'm about to loose something. I had gotten so used to having that purpose, that thing to wake up to every morning, and now that it's almost over I don't want it to be.

I guess this isn't really the end, it's just the beginning.

A couple of months ago, my dream was to be a fifteen year old author, now it's to be a fifteen year old published author.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The first blog I have ever read

I am as new to the whole blogging world as anyone could be.

I always heard about blogs, how they were a way to express your mind without being judged according to who you are. Anyone could give his honest opinion about anything and everything without having to take the blame of what he had to say not pleasing everybody.

I had never read a blog, however. As the matter of fact, reading my first blog (which happened only a few days ago by the way) was by accident. I was twitter and was checking out the profile of one of my favorite Disney actresses, Chelsea Staub. I noticed for the first time that she had a link to her own website on her twitter profile and decided to visit it.

There, I found the first blog I had ever read http://www.chelseastaub.com/blog/ . I absolutely fell in love with the whole thing. I learned from the way she wrote on her blog and the storied she told that she was such a deep person with one of the most interesting childhoods ever. I saw a side of her that I didn't even know existed.

I was absolutely touched by her fairytale like anecdotes and her style and wished to myself that I would ever be able to do what she does. That was the first time I really wished I had a blog and knew what I would do with it.

Before that, when I usually considered having a blog, I always thought that I would be a one topic writer, that I would never stray from the subject that I would choose for my posts to revolve around. That thought never really got me interested in the concept of blogging. I mean, people don't really need to read a million blogs all about the same subjects, topic related blogs tend to feel the same.

The beauty about telling random stories from your childhood is that no two people in the world have lived the same life, or dealt with the same situations the same way. Ten people could all tell about their years as a boy/girl scout, and each time it would be a different story because we don't all handle life the same way.

That's when I decided that if I had a blog I wouldn't sweat and hurt to find knew ways to phrase the same sentence, I wouldn't look for different ways to tell the same story, I would just tell a different story every time.

Why "the apprentice"?

Dear bloggers,
For my first blog, I decided to clarify why I used the word "apprentice" as my blog title.

During the short fifteen years that I have lived on this earth, I have constantly searched for something to define me as a person. I was always too mature for my age. By my second birthday, I had already taken off the diapers, the pacifier, and started talking and walking.

Even at school, I was usually the smartest of my kindergarten friends, I was the first one to learn how to write the letter eight without cheating and drawing two glued circles instead of the correct way to write the number.

Ridiculously minor achievements, I know, but it always felt good to be able to shine at something, no matter what it was.

I had always terrible at sports though, this was mainly caused by being overweight, but that was only a slight contribution. I hated to be sweaty and dirty and that was always the case at the end of P.E. Another reason why I didn't like it was the type of exercises we used to do. Now the exercises have changed and I have come to love that period.

I was always eager to learn. I loved school as a kid. I loved being around people that knew so much more about the world then I did. I loved being able to learn from them.

I loved to learn about how to behave in society, even at age ten, I worried about the right way to set the fork and knife at the end of a meal, a skill which I still haven't mastered by the way. The first thing I remember having learned was how to look up a word in a dictionary. That was an absolute joy.

I was always a beginner, a learner, an apprentice, and that's what I will always be.